|McCarron Park in Williamsburg, Brooklyn|
I'm sitting in McCarron Park in Williamsburg, eating peaches and watching people of my own generation wearing and doing things unimaginable to me. Two things have occured to me as I've watched the parade of Ray-bans, exposed bra straps and impossibly short shorts go by. Thing number 1) the intonation of American enthusiasm sounds frustratingly like Australian sarcasm. So when a girl walked pass and gushed "I l-uh-ve your dress! It looks soo good!" I immediately thought she was being sarcastic and wanted to go home. Even though I know this dress does look good (brilliant 2nd hand find; long, black and white, polka dotted, backless halter style dress with a tie up bow on the lower back. I'll try to get a photograph of myself so you can see it) I immediately took her compliment, turned it into criticism and let that be the dominant opinion of myself. Even if she was being critical of me, why should I care? Who is she to me? Which brings me to Thing 2) I need to be more confident and assertive. Not only when it comes to opinions of myself, but also how I engage with others. Case in point; I went to buy an iced coffee and asked for regular milk. The man made it with soy and then as he was holding out for me said "you asked for regular, but I put soy in it. Is that alright?" It was not of course alright. I don't like the taste of soy milk, but I just meekly nodded and even tipped the guy so he knew there were no hard feelings and then walked down the street gingerly sipping on my watery, mud flavoured drink.
So these are the revelations of today. Until I become more confident I am doomed to drink terrible coffee and doubt my fabulousness.